I've decided that either I'm the only one who has struggled with having a second baby, OR everyone struggles but no one talks about it. If the latter is the case, then I will be the odd one out and actually talk about it.
It feels very similar to when I was pregnant with jC and people would say "Being a parent is hard." and I'd say "I know." I knew it would be hard, but the reality of dealing with it was a lot different than just knowing it would be hard.
I knew having 2 would be hard, but the reality now of living it is much more difficult than I expected. The funny thing is when jC was a baby, I cried a lot with the struggles I had with him. Now luC is here, and I'm crying a lot...because of the struggles with jC. He, unfortunately, is not too fond of playing on his own. He also, unfortunately, is not too fond of not having all the attention.
Other things he's not fond of: luC crying, having to eat a meal with out me sitting with him, turning the TV off, getting a snack that he doesn't want, making him pick up the snacks he doesn't want after he throws it on the floor...and the list goes on and on....which equals a whoooole lot of frustration, screaming, and crying all around.
On the plus side, luC is a lovely baby. She will actually nap, which means I do get to spend some one on one time with Judson and I'm able to see his happy side, too.
I absolutely love my children (Woah...saying I have CHILDREN is weird!!) They are great, and I just can't wait for everyone to be adjusted to our new family so we can really enjoy it.
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Parenthood is a WHOOOLE lot of putting one foot in front of the other (often mindlessly...and sleep deprived)and the next thing you know they're asking for the car keys. I don't really know how "difficult" it was, because I just figured that's the way it was supposed to be. When I had 4 under the age of five I thought there for a minute I was going to lose my mind...but I don't think I did. I just kep putting one foot...well, you know (0:
You're doing great...they'll be great. Just try not to compare or analyze it all too much because this phase will pass, as will all the rest of them (although some seem to take a lot longer than others)
I'm proud of you!
Oh, the epistle I could write.
Instead, I'm going to refer Heather to this post and tell her to leave you a comment. Believe me, you're not alone!
Bless your heart. My mom sent me a link & asked me to leave a comment & I'm glad she did. It's so hard when your going through this phase & you know there will be an end to it but it seems So Long. The thing that I appreciated the most were others who didn't mind relating their experiences. It makes you feel less like you're failing as a mother or doing something so wrong. I like to call it the Stepford Complex. It will pass, hang in there, but don't feel bad for crying (or feeling overwhelmed or whatever else you may be feeling). I feel for you, I do. My daughter had a hard time adjusting. She was 3 when my son was born. And then 2 months later my husband (dads seem to be the end-all-be-all for these little girls) left for training for a new job for 6 months (he'd come home on the weekend). So it was a double-whammy for her. My best advice is (now this is very important & it's harder to do than it seems like it should be)
*cut yourself some slack-don't be too hard on yourself. Your sleep deprived & your hormones are probably still changing too
***don't feel guilty. You do what you have to do to survive. Literally. And everyone does, so don't believe otherwise (you know, the one's who are always dressed to impressed, have makeup on & their hair is fixed, no matter the age of their children. Chances are that's their thing they're doing to survive.)
I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job & your children are beautiful. They are so blessed to have a mother who loves them so much!
Thank you for your words of encouragement, Heather. Although I know other people struggle, it really is comforting to actually hear that from them. I know it will all pass, but like you said...right now it seems so long. But I do appreciate everything you said!
Everyone talks about it, one just doesn't listen or pay attention when it doesn't yet apply to them.
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