Spring is Springing!!

This winter has just felt miserable to me.  The cold, cold, cold temperatures.  The days, and days, and days of snow.  It's just more than this here southern girl cares to deal with.  Added to that the fact that I fell pregnant (I'm pretending to be British by saying that), and feeling horrible so much, it was just (for a lack of a better way to describe it) a bummer winter.

 Last week I got the kids the book "Oh, the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Suess.  I'd never read it before.  At least not that I can remember.  When I read this part, I felt it portrayed exactly how this winter has made me feel...
"All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.
And when you're alone there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak."

It is safe to say that I felt alone a lot...even though I was very, very rarely alone, thanks to 3 children.  And it's safe to say that when you feel alone, you have way too much time to think.  And when you think too much, you start to think things like "I'm going to have 4 kids!  FOUR!!!  I'm hanging on by a thread with 3, how will I do FOUR!?!"  And that scared my pants off, people!  Add to that the "I'm going to be massive and pregnant through the heat of summer." and "I won't get to go on any fun vacations." and I was all, "I don't want to go on."  Yet simultaneously thinking "WHEN WILL THIS WINTER END?!"

But, on I went.  And now I am starting to see beautiful glimpses of spring and it makes me oh so happy!

Yesterday was beautiful.  After jC got home from school and finished his homework (have I mentioned how much I hate kindergarten homework??)  we headed off to the park.  As we walked around the side of our house, we saw some of our spring flowers had begun to bloom.  jC said "Do you know what those are called?"  I assumed he meant what kind of flowers they were and I was trying to remember, when he said "Butts!  They're called butts!"  Then I realized he meant buds...of flowers just blooming.  And he started explaining that they were learning about flowers at school.  And I thought "This is going to be a great spring!"  (And I can't wait for more butts to bloom!!)

The kids played...

 and played....

 and played...

 and played...

in absolutely perfect weather.  And all was right in the world.  And I finally was feeling like the end of "Oh, the Places You'll Go", where it says,
"So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!"

I'm finally feeling like today (and the rest of the days) are my day!  And I'm thankful that my name isn't Buxbaum!  And I'm ready for some mountains!  I'm glad spring is finally here, and my fingers (and every other extremity I have) are crossed that it sticks around for a while.

Boy Oh Boy....Oh Boy

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.  I never, ever, ever pictured myself as a mom of 3 boys.  Just saying it makes my heart race.  For some reason, I thought 2 boys would be the max.  I'd had a feeling all along that it was another boy, which would be the first time ever that my feeling was right.  And I can't deny the fact that I was hoping for just one more girl.  But of course, all that matters to me is that we have a sweet little baby to hold in the end.  No matter what is hidden under it's diaper.

I've been thinking of the benefits of having another boy.  For starters, we have a billion boxes of boy clothes.  We are getting some really good use out of these clothes!  A large portion of the smaller sizes of clothes came from my sister.  And a good chunk of the clothes that came from my sister first came from my brother.  Which means that a lot of them had already been worn by 3 boys before they got to me.  Then my 2 boys have worn them.  Which means by the time this baby wears them, he'll be the 6th one to wear them.  So, I'd say that the money spent on the clothes was very, very well spent and put to good use!

Along with that is that we are already getting a good stock pile of Halloween costumes for the fellas!  It won't be long before we have all we need and I won't even have to buy anymore.

One of the problems of our home is that leftover food usually sits in the fridge and then gets thrown away.  It's such a waste.  With 3 boys we will no doubt not have that problem because either 1.  There won't be any leftovers from dinner or 2.  The leftovers will get eaten soon after.

Let's be honest...girls are emotional.  And I'm not trying to say that boys aren't, but we all know it's different.  I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about the fact that as of right now, I'm glad that we only have 1 girl to deal with when it comes to a certain part of a girls life.  I imagine that the boys in the family will later agree that 2 of us is plenty.

One day I'm really going to enjoy sending all of the boys outside to mow the grass, trim the bushes, build things with wood and bricks, and use chainsaws...while luC and I stay inside baking cookies and brownies and eating chocolate while watching romantic comedies and follow it up by
going to the mall.

With 3 boys that will probably each be taller than me by the time they are 12 (poor luC, she's so tiny I'm not sure she has that same chance), surely I will look like a little lady with a crew of bodyguards around me.  That's always a plus!

I've always wanted to know every single detail of how Boy Scouts works.  Here's my chance!  And boys haircuts are way easier/cheaper than girls!  Buzz cuts for everyone!

Ok, so seriously, before you start judging me and thinking I'm a girl hater...I really was hoping to have one more girl.  Of course if we have another, there's still a chance.  But I have to look on the bright side now and start psyching myself out now.  Because who knows, we may have another one...and it may be another boy.  (And that's ok, too!!)

We're Having Another Baby!

In case you missed it (how could you have missed it?)  the C Clan is having another baby.  Yes, ANOTHER baby.  (Believe it or not, there are people out there that have more children than us.  WAY more children than us.  Stop acting so surprised by us having our 4th.)

It's funny.  I hate making lists...like, to do lists.  HATE it.  If I had to choose between making a to-do list and digging a 4x4 foot deep hole with a kitchen spoon, I'd choose the latter.  But for some reason, when it comes to blogging, I'm all about the lists.  Which is something you've probably realized if you've read more than a few of my blog posts.

So of course, I have to make a list, for you, about why we are having another baby.  Not that I really think I owe an explanation.  But hey,  if it helps, why not.

--I gave our first reason on facebook, when announcing our pregnancy.  And I quote, "So here's the thing. I personally think it is important for all of the really good parents in the world that raise smart, nice, well behaved children to have lots of children so as to populate the world with. Conversely, I think it is equally important for all of the inadequate parents in the world that raise sassy, ill-behaved children to have lots of children to even things out. Which is why we are having another baby. Coming to even things out sometime around August."

--I love changing diapers!  Love it, love it, love it.  The more, the merrier.  It's right up there on my list of loves next to making to-do lists.

--juC looks super cute holding a newborn baby.  (And changing their diapers, when he begs me to let him have a turn.)

--When we moved into our house, I did pretty well get unpacked in an appropriate amount of time.  However, it wasn't very organized.  I had cC, at home, a little over a year after we moved into our house.  Those few months leading up to his birth, I was a machine.  I got the house cleaned and organized like never before.  It was awesome.  Then cC was born and it took approximately 3 days 14 hours and 27 minutes for all of the cleaning and organization I did to come undone and only decline since then.  Soooo, have another baby at home = motivation and energy to get the house cleaned and organized to the max.  It's a win-win.  Cute newborn baby AND an organized house.  (Even if it doesn't last very long.)

--Newborn babies smell like heaven. 

--little jC started asking for another baby when cC was like, a week old.  And I give my children everything they want, soooo...

--I wouldn't have said this when I was pregnant with little jC, but I LOVED my pregnancies with luC and cC.  No joke.  I was miserable with jC.  MISERABLE.  And I fear that this pregnancy will have the same outcome.  BUT, I really appreciated the next two pregnancies.  Feeling a growing baby inside of me...that is an amazing, AMAZING experience.  It is something I will forever, and ever be grateful I have been able to experience, and I am thankful for the opportunity to experience it again.  Being able to experience a tiny, growing babies movements is definitely a on the top of my list of why we are having another.  It's truly a huge blessing.

--juC and I love sleep deprivation.  There is nothing like being awake 27 times a night with a newborn baby.  Bring it on!

--Babies are just cute.  Even ugly ones.  How could we not want to stare at another one for hours on end?  Their tiny fingers, and tiny noses, and tiny lips, and tiny feet.  Oh my goodness!! 

--I touched on it already, but seriously, babies are such an amazing blessing.  How could we not want to take advantage of the blessings that we have been given?  People say we are crazy and that's fine (I guess).  Having children is definitely seen as a sacrifice by many, but we are willing to sacrifice for these amazing little humans that our Heavenly Father has so graciously blessed us with.    Although I'm not always as grateful as I should be, and don't always appreciate my children to their fullest, I love them more than I ever knew I could.  There was no denying it was time for another, and we are unbelievably grateful for the opportunity to have another sweet spirit join our family.

**It should be noted that having children has made me appreciate so much the struggle that others have in being able to have children.  Having children made me realize what an amazing miracle it is that not everyone gets to experience, and for those of you that have struggled or are struggling, my heart truly goes out to you!  And I know that you will be blessed beyond measure for your struggle.

Esther 12:27

One of the biggest sources The biggest source of guilt that I feel in my every day life is in my lack of abilities as a mother.  Specifically my biggest weakness...my lack of patience which usually quickly escalates to a raised voice or yelling.  Every time I yell at one of my children I immediately feel guilty.  Every time I read things from other people who talk about their imperfections as a parent, but then say things like "But at least I don't yell at my kids", I feel guilty.  I read those things, or read uplifting posts from other moms who have "figured it out" and I vow to myself to do better.

But the reality is, the next day luC stands by the toilet and pees on the floor.  And then she body slams cC because he has a toy she wants.  And jC freaks out because he can't have what he wants right when he wants it.  And he hits luC for the pure joy of it.  The new day and new start I was looking forward to is just a brand new day of the reality that I am impatient and my kids are kids.

Yesterday, as I sat on the couch and juC was down in the basement with the kids, little jC came upstairs.  He was smiling and happy and he kept hugging me and giving me kisses.  He grabbed on to my hand, and gently shaking his head with exclamation, he whispered "I really love you."  My heart melted and broke at the precise moment he said it.

Then later in the day, luC came and sat on me while I was watching General Conference.  Similar to my experience with jC in the morning, she repeatedly hugged me and kissed me, and kept sweetly saying "I love you."  Similarly, my heart melted and broke at the same time.

My kids are kids.  They are pure.  They are sweet.  They are easy to forgive and usually easy to forget.  But I know it won't always be that way.  As they showed so much natural affection to me it made me thankful that apparently I'm doing at least part of my job right.  It made me glad that in spite of my failings, they can still find it in their heart to love me and appreciate me.  But it made my heart break because I know that in the not distant future, they will grow up.  And when they grow up, they won't so easily forgive my shortcomings.  They won't so easily look past my lack of patience.  They won't be so willing to show me love when I'm so willing to show them anger.

With all of my heart I want to do better.  I want to be the mom they deserve and need.  I'm trying with all of my might to be patient and loving even when they push me to my absolute limit.  I don't know if I will ever perfect my impatience.  But I hope with everything in me that I can overcome what I consider to be a huge trial before they are old enough to lose their patience with me and realize that maybe I don't deserve their unconditional love.  I will strive each day to do a little bit better than I did the day before in the hopes that one day I will get it right.  And I will find a little bit of comfort in the fact that even though I may not be doing it right, I am at least trying.

Kitty Thursday--On a Tuesday Night

It's a sad, SAD day when you realize that all you ever post about is your cat. I swear, I'm not a crazy cat lady!!

I am quitting my "job" blogging for Milan Maternity at the end of the month. I think that will open things up again for me to blog on my personal blogs the way I used to. The only good thing about that is that I won't look like a crazy cat lady anymore to the 3 people that read this blog.

Now, on to my cat....

Not only is my belly a comfy space for the little babe inside, but apparently it's pretty comfy from the outside, too.

Our bay-bay

I think almost everyone is aware now that baby #3 is a wee wittle boy. Poor little jC...he kept saying it was a girl, and was completely and totally convinced. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that he was one with the baby, and knew it's gender. But, when I did the needle and thread test (holding it over my belly, circle motion means girl, back and forth means boy) it said it was a boy. And since it was right with luC, I couldn't help but believe the needle over little jC. And the needle was right!

Something not many people know, though, is that I'm planning to do a home birth (don't call me crazy!!!) with this little one. Which means that this was the first (and probably only) ultrasound I've gotten during pregnancy. So seeing him was so, so amazing! There is just something about seeing that there truly is a baby inside of you that just blows the mind.

And the good news is that little jC took the news of this new baby being a boy quite well. And I'm even more excited than I was before to have a sweet little newborn in our home come November(ish)

blog lameness, juC, Valentine's Day

I'm in mourning. I'm mourning the loss of my blog being funny and actually having people read it. I'm pretty sure my readership has dropped 98%. And I'm certain that my funniness has dropped 98% as well. Having a large blog readership is very important to me (note: no sarcasm)

So as I was pondering my blog, I realized it has been much too long since I've posted about my dear husband, juC. My blog isn't my blog without some good juC posts on it. I realized I never posted about Valentine's Day. A Valentine's post is a must. A MUST! And a juC post is a must. So here goes--

A Valentine's juC post

A little over a week before the BIG day, juC asked me if I just wanted Georgetown Cupcakes for Valentine's Day. Uhh...no thought needed...shheeyaaaah! That's how a guy shows a girl he loves her, after all.

Knowing what I was getting in no way ruined Valentine's Day. I was soooo looking forward to my cupcakes and the made up commercial holiday couldn't get here fast enough.

And finally, FINALLY--Valentine's Day was here. Oh, glorious day of cupcake arrival. The day was finally here, but now I had to wait ever so patiently for juC to get home from work. But I knew that the waiting would be worth it when I dug my teeth into that sweet goodness. And that I would enjoy them for days to come.

And finally, FINALLY--juC arrived home from work. With.........

A grocery bag.....

A grocery bag, people.....

A grocery bag containing a little Valentine heart with chocolates for jC....

A grocery bag with a little stuffed gorilla for luC.....

A grocery bag housing a tiny (I'm talking tiny) bag of Lindt truffles....

FOR ME!!!

Nary a beautiful pink box from Georgetown Cupcakes in sight. Why? Because he didn't know that's what I wanted.

Wait. What?

Yes, you heard me correctly.

He didn't know that I wanted Georgetown Cupcakes for Valentine's Day, even though it was his idea, and he asked me specifically, and I specifically and emphatically told him that it was very much what I wanted. I mean, I guess he can't be perfect all the time.

But don't worry, I reminded him daily that he failed (isn't that what good wives do?) until he finally came home with that glorious pink Georgetown Cupcake box.

But then, this past Saturday, he did something that proved that even though he couldn't get me the one thing for Valentine's Day that he knew he should get, that he does love me...A LOT.

You see--we had Indian (food) for dinner Saturday night. This was the first time getting Indian (food) since moving to our new house, which means we got it from a new place. And you see--it wasn't good. So after we ate, I mentioned that I wish Wegman's wasn't so far away from us now because they have this peanut butter cream pie that is TO DIE FOR! But the closest Wegmans to us now is about 30 minutes away.

But do you know what juC did? After we got the kids to bed, he told me he was going to

Wegmans to get me that oh so delicious peanut butter cream pie!! Melt my heart--He loves me. He really, really, really, REALLY loves me!! Probably more than a girl like me deserves to be loved. (If you've had this pie, you will understand why it means what it means that he went and got it for me. If you haven't had this pie, look at it. Can you not tell it's the most amazing thing in the world??)

I suppose that's why juC and I make the perfect couple. He loves me more than I deserve and I love him for loving me more than I deserve. And of course, because I love him in spite of his faults (like when he forgets to get me my cupcakes for Valentine's Day, even though it was HIS idea)

And by the bye, it was 5 years ago on the 18th that this sweet juC proposed right before Sunday dinner (by placing a 'marry me' conversation heart on my dinner plate with the ring). All kidding aside, he really is the most amazing husband and I'm so thankful for him!

My brain at 2 a.m.

Something that I've thought about in the middle of the night feeding a baby when my thoughts are all over the place...

This year I will turn 29. My husband will soon be 33. My husband has a for real job (as opposed to a fake one), we have a house, 2 cars, 2 kids. According to most, we are considered adults, as are our acquaintances. So why is it that I still have a hard time referring to ourselves and others as a man or a woman? Boy and girl still come to mind, and every time I'm talking to someone I so badly want to say "This girl that I know..." and I really have to make a conscience effort to say "woman".

Maybe I'll be over this by the time I'm 50.

it ain't no lie

My husband is amazing for many reasons. But there is one reason in particular that has reminded me of how amazing he is recently. His ability to read my mind when it comes to food. (The most important thing if you ask me.)

Over the last several weeks it has happened probably once a week. It all started one day when he called when he was about to leave work to ask if he needed to pick anything up. I told him it would be great if he'd pick up dinner. I'd been craving a particular place ALL DAY and was waiting for him to call so I could ask him to get it.

He calls, I tell him I want him to pick up...ummm....ummmm...ummm....How is it that I was thinking of the place ALL DAY and now that he's on the phone I can't think of it. But no worries. "Boston Market?" he asks.

YES!

It doesn't end there folks. A couple of weeks ago he went to a church meeting in the evening. From the moment he left I was thinking "I sure would love a hot fudge sundae from McDonalds." I sat and waited, and waited, and waited. For two whole hours I hoped he'd know. Or if he didn't know, that he'd call to ask me if I wanted something before he came home. 20 minutes after his meeting was scheduled to end, he walked through the door. I heard the rustling of a paper bag, and I knew immediately what it was. My beloved hot fudge sundae!

YES!

But it doesn't even end there! For most of the day today I was planning on having left overs for dinner. But the last few hours, I was thinking about the left overs we have and for some reason it just didn't sound appealing to me in any way. But I was thinking of something that sounded SO good!

Like the great husband juC is, he called when he was leaving work to ask if he needed to pick anything up. I quietly asked if he'd get dinner. If I ask quietly, it makes it ok. To which he said "What would you like from Pei Wei?"

HOW!? How does he do it??

He claims that it's because he's my soul mate. I can live with that answer. But I still think it's due to the fact that he's amazing!

tweet tweet

I LOVE decorating for holidays. I bought this last summer from Home Goods (for only 5 buckaroo's) when my sister LoW was here visiting with her family and she and I had a girls night.

Isn't it the cutest? It's my most beloved Easter decor. Perhaps because I only have 2 Easter decorations. Am I the only one that loves decorating for holidays but doesn't have enough decorations?

I think it's time for little JT and I to head out and get some more. Shhhhh! Don't tell juC!!

Where ya been?

It's been a little while since I've blogged.

I went to get my eyebrows waxed and the lady asked "Just eyebrows or lip too?" It bugs me that this isn't the first time that question has been posed. But she made up for it by telling me I had "skin like a baby."

We got a Wii for New Years. When the craziness that is motherhood gets a little too much to handle, I just take a Wii break. I've found it to be very therapeutic. Doesn't my Wii Mii look like me??

The man of the house is still sporting a beard. It's been about 3 months now, which is a record. He also got a haircut a couple days ago and the barber when a little too short. While we were watching the Biggest Loser I realized who he looks like now.

Bob! If he got tattoos like Bob, they'd be identical twins.

clearing the air

ok. i'll admit it. for forever now my one and only goal in life was to get my dear, sweet, un-comment making husband to make a comment. that is what all of my efforts went in to.
i realized, finally, that i was going about it all wrong. i was "attacking" him, when what i needed to do was pretend he "attacked" me. so i did what any other female would do. i said he called me fat.

he didn't. but he did finally post a comment on my blog!! i knew he couldn't just let that one alone.

and now i know...he loves me!! he really loves me!

now if i could only get him to woo me. that's another story for another day.

well....

my husband thinks i'm fat.

thanks

i love craig's list. (apparently this is my week to post about loves)
but seriously, craig's list has been amazing to me. it is, after all, where we have gotten jC's crib, car seats (yep, infant car seat and big boy car seat), stroller, bumbo, high chair, and the glider and ottoman i use in his room. so what is there not to love? really good condition baby items for much less than buying them new. thus allowing me to not feel quite as guilty when i buy a new skirt or a pair of shoes.
right now we are looking for a baby backpack carrier. you know, for all the hiking we do. i have a specific one in mind, and it hasn't been easy because apparently everyone else has decided they want one too. but as i've searched for one, it's reminded me of the other reason why i love craig's list. humor.
yes, that's right, humor. because of posts like this:

Graco BABY Stroller -- GREAT for parts /strength training - $5

Baby Stroller in good condition -- BUT -- it's missing the rear wheels.
This stroller would be great AS-IS for pushing your kid around while increasing the strength of your hands, arms, legs, and back muscles. Since it is missing the rear wheels but still has the front wheels, you would be able to push the stroller around while supporting the weight of back end of the stroller and thereby increasing your strength.
If that doesn't appeal to you, then it is a great parts stroller. You can cannibalize this stroller for parts to replace on another stroller or custom make your own stroller.
If it had the rear wheels it would be one hand steering, but as it is, you need two hands and arms, or one really strong one, depending on the weight of your kid.

thank you craig's list. thank you for appealing not only to the bargain shopper side of me, but also the part of me that likes a good laugh.

busy bee

there are a few things that have begun to occupy my time these days.

there is of course the obvious, that occupies a good majority of my time. whoever thinks that being a stay at home mom is easy has obviously never been a stay at home mom.

the next thing that's been occupying a lot of my time is my new hobby.my friend megan taught me how to crochet. a craft i never expected to take up. it's addicting. and my plan is to make a throw to spice up our living room with some color. unfortunately i did a couple of rows before realizing i was making a mistake. luckily i dont plan on entering it into any crocheting competitions, nor do i plan on having a master crochet-er inspect it, so it's going to stay as is.

and the other time occupier as of today is a book. yes, after a very long book sabbatical, i'm reading "a girl named zippy". only because someone actually thought i was cool enough to invite me to join their newly formed book club.

i'm only on page 20 and i'm hooked! truth be told i was hooked by page 7.


something that's been occupying my time that i still can't believe is the gym.

never did i want to join a gym. never. in fact when people talked about joining a gym, or their gym membership, i'd say never. but then i had a baby. and i needed the gym. not just for my body, but for my sanity. and i'm not going to lie to you, i'm glad i did. and once again i've learned to "never say never."


and the last but most definitely not least occupier of my time (aside from the obvious laundry, cleaning*, beautifying of self) is of course my dear sweet husband.

(too lazy to flip picture)

when i think back to all of the guys i dated, i think about how lucky i am that he's the one that i married! he makes things fun. he makes things entertaining. (except when he treats me like he's my older brother) he treats me so well and when he occupies my time he does his best to make it fun for the both of us.

the end-ish.

*even though my house isn't technically "clean" i do clean on occasion.

clarification

i feel like i need to clear the air. set some things straight. clarify some things. make things clear for the record.

first of all, i did not vote for obama. i know a lot of people just assume that everyone did. but i, in fact, did not.

secondly, i know some people are jealous of my skin tone. so just to set the record straight, i do not bleach my skin to get this lovely shade of shiny white. i was just made this way.

third of all, a certain someone (i won't say any names, but her initials are LoW) thinks that i stated some things incorrectly on my last post. but, i stand by everything i said, just as i stand by my man.

fourthly, i'm usually going to carolina in my mind. but early tomorrow morning, i'm actually for real going to carolina. south carolina. at this time tomorrow i will be landing in charleston in 80 degree weather.

item number five. from here on out on this here blog, my husband, previously referred to as shad, will be referred to as juC (pronounced "juicy"). so as to match my name. and the little guy will be referred to as jC, so as to have the same naming as his parentals.

sixly, contrary to popular belief, when little jC decided to wake up a little after 5 this morning and just wanted to hang out, it did not make me happy. nor did i have the same desire as him. i'm one of those people who enjoys the 5 o'clock a.m. hour in a peaceful state of sleep.

seventh of all, and this is one that a lot of people don't know, i don't enjoy changing diapers. i'm one of those people that fails to see the fun in it. i know...call me crazy.

number eight is something that's been weighing on my heavily. but i really need to clear the air. i do not, i repeat, do not, watch 24 or lost. i'm a reality/comedy tv show junky. none of that drama mumbo-jumbo for me.

ahhhh, i feel so much better now getting that all out there. now i can travel tomorrow morning with out all the extra weight.