Identity Crisis

I hate to say it, but I'm having a major identity crisis.  Now before I go into details, I'm not trying to have a pity party here.  I'm just expressing myself...on my blog...because that's what people do.  Or perhaps I am secretly seeking some sort of validation.  But, it is what it is, and I feel what I feel, and this is what I feel:

So, I jokingly made a post several months ago about my "talents".  As is usually the case with me, it was loaded with sarcasm, and none of the talents I listed were actually really talents.  I mentioned how I'm surrounded by so many talented people that it makes me feel inadequate.  The truth is, that was the truth.  I know, I know...you aren't supposed to compare yourself to others.  But, I'm human, and I do.

It seems that everything I'm good at, there is someone that's way better.  I love to write. I know so many others that are way better.  I love taking pictures.  I know so many others that are way better.  I love to do certain crafts (admittedly, it's a short list).  I know so many people that are way better.  I love to sing.  But I know so many people that are way, way, way, way better.  I love to bake.  I know so many people that are way better.

I could go on, but the point is, no matter what I do, I can't help but compare myself.  And when I compare, I can't help but feel like I just...suck.  And then when I start thinking about all of the things I can't do, that other people do, it makes me feel even worse.

But there's 1 thing...just 1 thing, that I always thought I was really good at.  Being funny.  Jokes, sarcasm, lightening the mood in stressful situations, being ridiculous to get a laugh, the girl with the good come backs, and being witty.  I kept thinking if I had nothing else, at least I had that.

However, lately, I'm realizing that not everyone agrees with me.  Not everyone thinks I'm very funny, or even a little funny.  And not only do they not think I'm funny, but they find me offensive, hurtful, and/or mean.  Never in my quest for funniness have I intended to hurt feelings or cause harm.  Perhaps I shouldn't be so easily offended myself, but I can't deny that when people stop talking to me, tell me to stop,
or avoid me because of it, I can't help but be hurt by it.  It is so hard to realize that there are people that don't like you.  (Am I the only one that was living in a dream world where everyone liked you and is now facing reality?)

So if I'm not good at the one thing I'm supposed to be good at, what am I good at??  If I'm not the funny person, what is my identity?

After several months of trying to figure this out, I still don't have the answer.  Instead, I've just become unbelievably paranoid about everything I say, yet unable to change what I thought was my 1 good "talent".