Every once in a while, I post something serious. This is one of those times. I actually originally started writing this post well over a year ago, but recent thoughts and such have finally prompted me to actually finish and post it.
About 2 years ago I was at stake conference, and it was the one where they do a broadcast. I wish I could remember which General Authority it was that spoke, but I can't remember for the life of me. Which is horrible, because it was an amazing talk.
As he was speaking, it's like he was speaking directly to me and what I needed to hear. Then he said something that made me immediately take out a pen and paper to write what he said, which is so very rare for me! Of course by the time I got the pen and paper, I was just hoping that what I actually remembered to write down was anything near what he actually said. What I wrote down was (Satan is) "Trying to divert from womanly/motherly duties by having us focus on our physical attributes."
This (probably very abbreviated) statement really hit me. Everywhere I look, I feel like we are focusing on the physical. Whether it is trying to get in perfect shape after having a baby, or trying to look physically attractive with the clothes we wear. I constantly see pins on Pinterest for "losing 5 lbs quickly", "get flat abs in 5 weeks" or pins for what clothes are most in style. I constantly find myself wanting to make sure I look a certain way hoping that people will accept or like me more. Of course there is nothing wrong with wanting to look presentable, but I can't help but feel like it's something that we've let consume us at times.
To hear that it is Satan's way of trying to divert me from my womanly/motherly duties really struck me. Of all the ways I thought of him trying to divert me from those things, I never considered that as one of them. And I see now that it's not just wanting to be in shape and wear perfectly styled clothes, but the time I take to figure out what those things are. How much time am I spending online looking for the perfect clothes to wear? How much time do I spend online trying to find the perfect hairstyle? How much time do I spend online seeing what exercises I should be doing to flatten my motherly stomach? I don't know the exact answer, but I know that whatever time that is, it was time spent away from my husband and my children.
Why have we as women become so critical of ourselves? Why do we think we are ugly or unattractive because our stomachs aren't what they used to be before we had kids? Why do we not see how badly we are making other women/mothers feel when we constantly criticize our physical appearance when they look like us, too? Why have we put so much unneeded pressure on ourselves and others to have the "perfect" body? Why do we start freaking out about our size 2 weeks after having a baby?? Why do we allow celebrities to set the bar for unrealistic expectations of what we should look like? Why can't our focus be on being healthy and not on being thin?? Why can we not see what thoughts and expectations we are putting into our kids heads when we do all of these things?? And why...WHY do we let these things keep us from being the women and mothers we should be??
I cannot deny the fact that I have feelings of anger (yes, anger) with how much focus is put on our physical appearance these days. No matter where I go I see people posting and talking about losing weight, wanting to get rid of their "baby pooch", feeling down because they don't look like they used to, being jealous of so and so because they look so much better, and on and on and on. I'm so done with it. And while I'm at it, I'm done with people making underhanded compliments about MY physical appearance.
So how about this...
How about we all stop obsessing (Yes, I do believe it has become an obsession) over our physical attributes? How about we all focus on being healthy? How about we all just accept ourselves and everyone else for who they are? How much better would we be as women and mothers if we put half the effort into our children/families/friends as we did into researching and trying to attain the perfect body?
No, none of us come out and say to someone (or at least I hope we don't) "Gee, your body looks disgusting." But basically, that's what we are saying by what we say about ourselves, and by other actions. So can we all just agree to stop? Please?
Why have we as women become so critical of ourselves? Why do we think we are ugly or unattractive because our stomachs aren't what they used to be before we had kids? Why do we not see how badly we are making other women/mothers feel when we constantly criticize our physical appearance when they look like us, too? Why have we put so much unneeded pressure on ourselves and others to have the "perfect" body? Why do we start freaking out about our size 2 weeks after having a baby?? Why do we allow celebrities to set the bar for unrealistic expectations of what we should look like? Why can't our focus be on being healthy and not on being thin?? Why can we not see what thoughts and expectations we are putting into our kids heads when we do all of these things?? And why...WHY do we let these things keep us from being the women and mothers we should be??
I cannot deny the fact that I have feelings of anger (yes, anger) with how much focus is put on our physical appearance these days. No matter where I go I see people posting and talking about losing weight, wanting to get rid of their "baby pooch", feeling down because they don't look like they used to, being jealous of so and so because they look so much better, and on and on and on. I'm so done with it. And while I'm at it, I'm done with people making underhanded compliments about MY physical appearance.
So how about this...
How about we all stop obsessing (Yes, I do believe it has become an obsession) over our physical attributes? How about we all focus on being healthy? How about we all just accept ourselves and everyone else for who they are? How much better would we be as women and mothers if we put half the effort into our children/families/friends as we did into researching and trying to attain the perfect body?
No, none of us come out and say to someone (or at least I hope we don't) "Gee, your body looks disgusting." But basically, that's what we are saying by what we say about ourselves, and by other actions. So can we all just agree to stop? Please?
Posts
5 comments:
I think, like so many things, it's all about balance.
We have Type II diabetes running rampant in my family (and heart disease! fun!), so I think it's important for me to exercise and try to eat healthy. Which is a LOT easier said than done, and I come short of what I'm trying to do constantly. And I think, since our bodies are temples, it's important that we try to take good care of them. It's okay to try and look attractive. (But I'm someone who can't be bothered to do more makeup than mascara. On a good day. And who has never known a thing about fashion. So diet and exercise are about the only thing I do towards personal appearance!)
But I think it's really easy to go to the opposite extreme, where we hate our bodies, or even punish them. And that is so wrong. We should appreciate what we have, flaws and c-section scars and all.
And there is certainly NEVER any room for judging others or making snarky comments about them. Amen on that a thousand times!
Well said, my dear! Another one of the things I like about getting older - while you still want to look presentable, as you say, the obsession over your looks falls to a seriously low place on your list of things to concern yourself about.
As women, let's be inspired by other women's success and go a step farther and lift them up. I love fitness. Can you have passions and still be a good mother,wife, and put the Lord first? I say yes! When your children see you exercise, they learn they can do hard things, they can love themselves, and take care of themselves, and be disciplined. There does have to be moderation, but that's a personal decision and no one else can judge what is too much or to little for another. Just because a person is fit, doesn't mean they are vain. I truly enjoy the feeling I get when I exercise. It makes me feel strong, accomplished, and confident.
I feel like you somehow misread my point, since it seems you were restating it in different words. That was my point, that we need to be lifting each other up, and when we are talking down about ourselves, we aren't lifting ourselves or others up.
I was in no way saying that you can't love fitness and still be good at all of those things. My point was I absolutely feel like we put pressure on ourselves and others to fit a certain image and can sometimes put more effort than necessary on that. And my point also was we should focus on being HEALTHY, not on our appearance. Our appearance can be no indication of what our health is. The skinniest I've ever been was because I wasn't eating. People may have looked at me and thought I was healthy because of my low weight, when in fact I was nowhere near healthy.
And I'm not saying I think it's wrong to exercise. I feel better physically when I exercise and I feel I'm setting a good example to my children. However, I've also seen a 5 year old weighing herself and pinching her "fat" and talking about needing to exercise because that's what she saw her mom doing, so yes...I think these are things we have to be very careful about.
I think I was feeling a bit defensive about exercise. But, yes I agree with what you are saying.
Post a Comment